My Journey to Grey Hair.

Denise’s Blog: My husband and family are in many of my pictures. He’s gorgeous and they are lovely.. It’s a good thing!

To color or not to color. I simply burned out. (Well maybe it wasn’t that simple) I was coloring my hair once a week, my hair grows very fast and is resistant to grey, (I’m a chia pet) my roots were showing within 5 days of a professional color job. It was debilitating.. I would go into an emotional melt down if I forgot my hat. I had to organize work and trips around the constant coloring of my hair..If not coloring with hair dye then I would use a grey cover pen to take the edge off the grey around my roots. (You know who you are>) I had been thinking about it for a while, when the realization of what I’m doing to my body began to set in.. I am a vegetarian (Jack Vegan I enjoy an occasional cocktail) I practice and teach yoga daily, I only put natural products on my skin, essential oils that I blend myself and yet I continue to put artificial color on my scalp. I just seems counter intuitive to put something on my scalp that would burn a hole into my wood cabinet.. And so it began, the nagging thought that I was doing more harm than good. I want to grow old and have my wits about me. I started dreaming about becoming a little bit slower in my thinking due to putting chemicals on my scalp, I dreamed that they were penetrating my skull and working their insidious way into my brain until it started to look the brain of a meth user.. (yes I’m a vivid dreamer) So I decided to go for it! August 2018 was the last time I did my roots the darker blonde I’ve been sporting for the past 18 years or so.. and here we are It’s February 5th and I’m still vacillating. I’m feeling washed out when I’m not “fixed” no makeup and I feel my 56 years. Tough spot to be for a yoga teacher.

Trying to blend, so dark in the back. Weird and new..
Dark under world!
This is right after the first rinse and platinum wave went in.

I’ve had young women tell me, that I’m a strong proud woman and I can do what I want and pave the way for others.. I feel that in some ways I am doing that, and there are a few women that I know personally who are changing their hair and apparently I am the inspiration. Yea for us.

2nd day after color. Late Summer 2018 Last time I covered my grey.
Our Son’s wedding with all of our Grandchildren, and my handsome husband!
I’m the lucky granny!

It doesn’t change the way I perceive myself when I look in the mirror, or the response from others. I’ve been noticing that older women really don’t like it. At first I thought it was such a drastic change for me that it would take time to get used to seeing me looking so different. But now I realize that it’s not about me but about how others perceive themselves. Maybe It’s like the emperors new clothes, maybe when we take off the shield of L’Oreal we become vulnerable. Maybe the world really knows that we aren’t natural blondes, that we aren’t 20 or 30 or 40 anymore. Maybe this makes all of us feel a bit naked.

This Journey is one that we all must embark on if we are fortunate enough to make it to our 50’s and 60’s. How will we spend our sunset years??? Pouring toxic colors on our scalps? Or being the natural goddess we are meant to be? I thought maybe the bar is higher or just different for a former Las Vegas Showgirl and model. Do glamour girls always have to be perfect? Even in my years of teaching yoga I feel the strain of having to look better than your average bear. I don’t care how strong and proud we are we are we still have ears, we here what people say, we have eyes we see how they look at us and we have feelings. For the most part I’ve always sort of done my own thing, I do like, and want to always be my best. But what does that mean for me now? What does that mean for any of us as we progress in life?

And this is the conversation I want to start with my sisters out there going through this process, or for those of you who see it coming. I don’t want to be that woman standing in line at the grocery store. She’s in her 50’s or 60’s but looks much older, her hair is long and in a braid or a bun. It looks like it’s never been colored it appears that no effort has been made to look her best, she doesn’t work out maybe she’s a little over weight, that softening that is unmistakable for a middle aged grandmother.. She’s probably lovely and has a wonderful family that adores her maybe she has a terrific life. But I see it differently now that I am in that same time zone.

It’s amazing to find myself in such an odd space in my life, I want to allow my grey to grow out to it’s full potential one minute and the next I want to change it back. I’ve found that most of my friends and associates think that I want to be grey. Like this is something I’ve aspired to. I’m not sure that I want to be totally grey, Ok I’m not sure what I want. And that is so strange.. for me. This week I think it’s adding low lights and brightening up the platinum blonde that I’ve become. Who knows what next week will bring… I’m on the fence of weather to color a little bit more or just hang out and let it heal for a few more months.. As of today I’m opting for the healing process.

One of the toughest parts of this process was going platinum. We took a bunch of pieces around my face and here and there and really lightened and brightened them up to blend and help ease the growth process. Even though my hairdresser used something like Oleplex I still had a lot of breakage. And oh thank God I have a lot of hair or it would really suck. But there is always the worry that it won’t grow back as quick or as well because we are older. Everything changes! The good news is that it is growing rapidly and the little broken pieces on my forehead line are like little wispy bangs now.

It’s amazing how life changing this process has been for me.. I don’t think I’m special or different than other women in this regard, but I’m a bit analytical about the process. Last week I hated my hair I saw a picture from our Pizza night at home and I wanted to cry. This week I’m embracing it again. I had Brunch with my besties and they were so loving. I’m feeling better about my silver growth..

Also we’ve had a lot going on at home and I’m not looking in the mirror so much. I’m taking care of my family and that’s where my focus is. I wish I could feel the confidence of the past few days more and more. Maybe I need more time with my girls.. Today is Valentines day 2019 my Dad would have been 95. He’s been gone one year. I’m not sad, but not happy either.

Have a blessed day,

Denise

Conversations For Women

I’m starting this blog for women in their 50’s and 60’s and for younger women who want to be involved in understanding what’s in front of them. And maybe get a little ahead of the game. Of course it’s very personal and different for all of us. But there is much that we have in common as women, as humans. The walk to the future can be tumultuous at times. Life is filled with ups and downs. So much happiness and much sadness as well. But there are many bridges that we all must cross if we are fortunate enough to grow older. Maybe this conversation is a way to ease this journey.

In Pattanjali’s Yoga Sutra’s there is so much talk of non-attachment, impermanence and simply letting go. We all find this is much easier to talk about than to actually practice. I’ve found that going through the same sorts of experiences over and over help lesson the burden when the creep back into our lives. Obviously there are many conversations. The women close to me have had quite a bit of loss these past few years. We will talk about many things. But right now. My Journey to grey is a very interesting topic for many of us. So please go to the next page to join the conversation.

Many Blessings,

Denise

My favorite mixed Nuts!

 

 
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I found this recipe at a restaurant in Laguna Beach “Nicks”  they give you warm nuts at the bar.  So I got the basic recipe from the chef.  And I have had to sort of figure it out on my own.  So I have produced my own version of it.

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I start with a 9″ pyrex bowl.  Add 1/4 cup butter melted, three sprigs of fresh rosemary chopped fine, about 1 teaspoon of Greek seasoning, 1 teaspoon of Spike seasoning, 1/4 teaspoon of cayenne pepper, a dash of garlic salt and about 1 teaspoon of salt.  About 1/4 cup of brown sugar, or real 1 tablespoon of real maple syrup, mix well, add nuts, I fill the bowl with cashews, walnuts, pecans and almonds.  I usually add more cashews as they are my favorite.  You can use any type of nuts that you like. at Nicks they add Brazil nuts…

Mix well.  Turn oven to 350 degrees place tinfoil on a cookie sheet.  Spread nuts evenly, place in the oven while it is heating.  Cook for 15 minutes, when you take the nuts out stir them up and flatten them on the cookie sheet allow them to cool, they will continue to cook for a bit!   Store in a glass bowl and cover well.

When you serve them put them in a small pan on the stove to warm.  And enjoy…

Vegetarian Enchilada Casserole

This recipe started out as just plain old enchilada’s but the Trader Joe’s corn tortillas weren’t bendy enough, so I improvised! (I made this last night and took the photos the next day,  we really enjoyed it!!)

Just a heads up Whole Foods 365 brand has beans and veggies in containers without Bisphenol-A  http://www.wholefoodsmarket.com/about-our-products/food-safety/bisphenol

You will need:  

Tequilla….a shot glass and a beer. Go ahead and have a shot!

Two Packages of corn tortillas. / if you don’t mind wheat, or are allergic to corn you can use flour tortillas. (The flour Tortilla doesn’t hold up as well.)Your choice/ Quinoa tortillas also goody!  The corn is my favorite it gives it a really warm flavor.

1 Bottle of Trader Joe’s Organic Enchilada Sauce.      Its good to buy two in case you are a little short or want to make the recipe again!!

Fresh Tomatillo salsa Traders has a great one in the refrigerator section IMG_3513

One package of firm organic sprouted tofu, drained,  or whatever you have in the fridge!IMG_3511

3 cups Organic shredded Mexican Cheese. You can buy it at traders or shred it yourself.  Trader Joe’s now sells organic cheese!  The Organic Jalepeno jack is amazing in this recipe as well.  If you have a corn allergy be careful as many times the pre-shredded cheese has a corn product that keeps it from clumping.

1 or 2 cups Queso Fresco/ (I substituted with Mozzarella as that was in the fridge!)

1 can organic corn or two fresh corn cobs cooked and corn removed

1 can organic black olives

1 can organic black beans

About 2 cups organic chopped chives

1/2 cup organic cilantro

Salt and Pepper to taste

2 cups organic Sour CreamIMG_3515

Before you begin have a shot and a beer!

Preheat oven to 350′

Coat a 9×13 Pyrex baking dish with organic coconut spray

Mix:  Tofu, 1 cup of onions, corn, beans,  1/2 olives, 1 cup of sour cream,  salt and pepper to taste.

Pour enchilada sauce into a pan big enough to dip Torrtea’s in.  Allow sauce to simmer.

Dip tortillas in enchilada sauce and place a layer on the bottom of the pan

Layer with 1/2 of  Tofu mixture, All of the Queso Fresco, and a light layer of Tomatillo sauce

Next,  add another layer of Tortillas dipped in enchilada sauce

Add the rest of the Tofu mixture, layer with 1/2 of the Mexican shredded cheese and another light layer  of Tomatillo sauce.

One last layer of the Tortilla’s dipped in the Enchilada sauce

Cover with the rest of the Mexican cheese, and a little more of the Tomatillo

Bake for 45 minutes, please check your oven at 25 or 30 minutes if it is brown and beginning to boil the casserole is done!

Add the rest of the olives, chives and cilantro to the top of the casserole, serve with sour cream and left over salsa and enchilada sauce..

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I served dish this with a fresh from the garden spinach, cilantro, and chive salad with grapefruit and avocado, and a white wine vinaigrette. IMG_3516

Have another shot of Tequilla!

 

Enjoy!!!

Namaste,

Denise

 

 

Yoga for Autism certified instructor

An amazing week spent at Integral Yoga Institute! I’ve learned so much at this intensive.  I’m honored to be certified and able to reach out and teach yoga in the Autistic community!  I am also now certified in Reiki 1, something I’ve been wanting to do for a while now!  This yoga science is more about love and compassion and giving the kids what they need.  Balancing the governing and central systems and balancing meridians. All of this can be done with  yoga. It helps ground the kids keeping them in a more comfortable space. Along with good nutrition (which is a whole other conversation).. But is a huge problem for these kids, along with the inability to communicate what doesn’t feel good. It’s our job to listen.  Adapt, adjust, accommodate!

Im looking forward to serving in our community and sharing this knowledge with you!

Currently in SF waiting for the weather to clear in LV!  I’m so pleased for the beautiful rain in our desert! Something we all really love and are grateful for!

Love and light!

Namaste!

Denise

Day 2 and 3 Teacher Training

Yesterday during class we did the “twist” Sharanya put the twist music on and we did the twist during the dancing part of class.. She got a text later from her daughter who is watching her autistic sister.. Apparently Carrie was twisting the same time we were,, she’s in New Jersey .. At the same time.. Carrie Sharanyas autistic daughter said look I’m in 1965.. Maybe autistic people are resonating on a different plain… Really something to think on.  Divine beings practicing quantum physics.. It’s so amazing how connected we really are Carrie is an incredible example.. Sharanya has never played that music in class before we were doing an example class for autistic kids but modified for the teachers as we needed a little something different…

Cleaning  the body with good pranic  energy, keeping the chakras clear,  good nutrition and a healthy gut is so important.  Studies show that 70 to 80% of crime occurs when people have low blood sugar. On a different note let’s think about autistic people who have difficulty communicating what doesn’t feel right, be it a head ache, belly ache, or even a mucle cramp, and you have a person who is acting out.. With the practice of yoga maybe we can discern what the problem is and use yogic chanting, pranayama, and asana to open and help these kids.

A few things I learned yesterday/ Glycosate a chemical in roundup weed killer. The wheat we grow in the US is impervious to this chemical, it kills the weeds but not the wheat, glycols ate is in the wheat and we ingest it.. No goody!  Hence the gut problems.

The goal is for each child to experience success, love and non judgement. And that openness that comes with pranayama and yoga indri.  A lot  like any other yoga class!

Today may 15 I’m back on the train. I have a routine now! We are working on meridians today. And more asana!

Day 1 teacher training

Im on the  train from Lafayette to the city, I could be in NYC but the station names are different! People are nice helping me figure out where to go! I’m just hoping to be on time. Once I get off at the 24th st mission station I have a half mile walk. I’m thinking I might need the lady in the box to head me in the right direction!

Ok made it on time amazing group of  people Had a face time with Margabandu and Shaki. Absolutely incredible so much information.  Sharama is awesome. Lots of conversation about breath work .this way of approaching  Autism revolves around the gut and the science of  yoga.  A lot about non gmo and all the toxins in our  food! In California so many people just can’t seem to afford good clean food. I thank God everyday for our garden and the many gifts we have been given!

Im back on the train it’s 6pm this time  have a seat and I’m looking forward to going home to my good friend Leilani and celebrating her birthday with her and her beautiful family!  Have a joyful evening, more tomorrow!

Namaste!